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00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:04,638
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,710 --> 00:00:07,779
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,918 --> 00:00:11,688
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:14,264
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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The usual, fellas?
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Hey, thanks, Jerome.
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Whoa, Jerome,
what's with the wheelchair?
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Well, it was date night
with my lady friend.
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I put on some Teddy Pendergrass,
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one thing led to another,
and we started making love
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halfway up the stairs.
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Then I lost my footing
and tumbled down half a flight,
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buck naked.
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Well, this is hardly
dinner conversation.
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Who's Teddy Pendergrass?
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He's America's number one cause
of urgent lovemaking injuries.
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If you're not already in bed
when Teddy starts singing,
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somebody's going to the E. R.
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Anyway, I busted my knee
really bad,
25
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so here I am.
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Aw, geez, that stinks, Jerome.
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How long you gonna be
in that chair?
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Well, that's the problem.
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The doctor said I need surgery
if I'm ever gonna walk again,
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but I can't afford it. (sighs)
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Man, I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
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I've got to get up
on my feet again.
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Relax, it's not so bad.
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I bet you're gonna discover
some cool new things
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that you couldn't do
when you were walking.
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- Like what?
- Well, have you yelled at someone
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for using
the handicapped stall yet?
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That stall is for the
differently-abled, you know.
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Well, how do you know it's not
a handicapped person in there?
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Look, no chair, no crutches.
Whoever's in there
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definitely shouldn't be!
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Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
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Yeah, sure you are.
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Hey, you mind flushing
for me, pal?
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No arms over here.
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Well, I suppose
it's the least I could do.
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Oh, my God,
it's bigger than you.
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(laughs heartily)
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00:02:04,287 --> 00:02:06,189
Hey, can you guys
hear me all right?
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- Yep.
- Loud and clear.
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Fr... in the computer.
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What-What'd you,
what'd you say, Cleveland?
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- You're cutting in and out.
- Damn it.
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It's his crappy
Internet service.
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- What does he have?
- He hoarded a decade's worth
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of those "100 Free Hours" CDs
AOL would send in the mail.
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He's chipping away at 'em
one at a time.
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Let me... (glitching)
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(echoing): ...other room.
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All right,
we'll fill him in later.
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Look, we got to help Jerome
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pay for that surgery, you guys.
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Yeah, but where are we gonna get
that kind of money?
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Hello? Hello?
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Wait, what if we did
some sort of fundraiser?
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Donna, unplug everything.
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I need the Internet.
No, not tha...
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You know,
the local firehouse made
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a sexy men in uniform calendar,
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and it raised a ton of money.
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Don't tell anybody,
but I heard
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not all 12 of those guys
were from Quahog.
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I-- Who-who would we
tell that to?
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I don't know.
I'm just saying... don't.
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That's actually not a bad idea.
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We already got three
men in uniform.
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I'm on the roof now.
Is that bet...
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-(bird squawking)
- Bird. Bird.
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Bird stole my laptop.
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All right, now remember,
we're going for "sexy,"
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so can you undo your shirt?
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(sighs)
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There.
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(yawns)
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Joe, did you skip your nap?
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I don't need a nap!
You need a nap!
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I want to be done.
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(shaky breathing)
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(sobbing)
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Wait, Joe, Joe, look.
Look over here.
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(sniffling) Who's that?
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This is our friend Leapy.
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Hey, Joe.
Can you do me a favor?
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Okay.
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Can you be a big boy
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and unbutton your shirt
for the picture?
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(sniffles) Yeah.
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Great, we're all done.
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Now take off your pants.
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What the hell?
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I said take 'em off.
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Joe, don't listen to Leapy.
I was wrong.
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Leapy is not our friend.
(grunts)
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Yeah, that's good.
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00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,875
Okay, Cleveland,
you're mostly out of shape.
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00:04:09,946 --> 00:04:13,449
Thankfully, all postmen have
mountain climber leg muscles.
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Those will be our focus here.
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They really that strong-looking?
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It's like
a lady bodybuilder's boob.
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I'm disgusted,
but I can't look away.
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All right, let's get started.
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That's it. Now thigh me.
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There we go. Now throw that
bad boy up on the mailbox.
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Ah, you're a natural.
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You're like Gisele, Beyoncé,
and Naomi Campbell all in one.
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You're Gisonmi.
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That's it, Gisonmi.
Gisonmi, yes.
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- Gisonmi.
- Hey, guys,
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I'm just gonna go ahead
and close this, okay?
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Getting my house assessed.
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(indistinct chatter)
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- Here you go, fellas.
- Hey, Jerome.
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Great to see you back
on your feet already.
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You're telling me.
That calendar of yours
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paid for my surgery
and then some.
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Consider your tab paid up
for the whole month.
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Wow, did we really make
that much money?
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Who's buying all these?
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Yeah, I figured just our friends
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would buy 'em for a laugh.
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(laughs)
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Oh, yeah, we're having
a laugh, all right.
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Might say everybody's having
a ball, right, Mr. Brown?
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(laughter)
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What's going on here?
Give me that.
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All right, let's start
at my navel and work down.
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Belt buckled at the third notch,
per postal code regulation.
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Shorts securely zipped.
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Neatly-pressed crease
running down to--
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(gasps) my cocoa pebble!
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- Let me see that.
- Oh, yeah, that's a half-scrote
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- bad dangle angle right there.
- Oh, no,
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the whole town's seen it.
What am I gonna do?
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Damn, Mr. Brown.
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Larry Bird ought to be
diving through here any second
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'cause that's a loose ball.
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(laughs) Good job, sweetie.
You're doing the work.
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Aw, thanks, Dad.
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I learned it all by watching
YouTube videos of Les Dawson.
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Who the hell is that?
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00:06:21,587 --> 00:06:24,457
Uh, 1960s British comic
Les Dawson,
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famous for his
mother-in-law jokes?
153
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Geez, Spencer, do the work.
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You wanted to see me, sir?
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Cleveland,
let me ask you something.
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Do you have a problem
with the carrying capacity
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of your standard-issue
S-1104 canvas satchel?
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No, sir.
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I see. So then why, may I ask,
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do you feel the need
to carry around an extra sack?!
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Sir, y-you don't understand.
It was a mistake.
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You're damn right it was.
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Your little mistake
has made a complete mockery
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00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:07,001
of the United States
Postal Service.
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This is a noble institution
that runs on dignity.
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That's the reason
people trusted us to deliver
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00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:17,191
free COVID tests several months
after it was relevant.
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- But, sir, I...
- No buts, Cleveland.
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You've left me no choice.
You're fired.
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Now turn in your safari hat
and your ladies' Mace.
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This is terrible.
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I have such a hard time
saying goodbye.
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Guh-buh-buh.
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Gah-bre-aye.
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(babbling gibberish)
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Hey, chin up, Cleveland. I know
you'll miss being a fireman.
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00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,474
- Mailman.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,245
That job meant everything to me.
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00:07:49,315 --> 00:07:51,684
And what about
all the people on my route?
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There's gonna be a riot
when my regulars
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find out I've been replaced.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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00:07:59,541 --> 00:08:01,576
Huh. Mail before noon.
184
00:08:01,646 --> 00:08:03,548
So, Cleveland,
how's the job hunt going?
185
00:08:03,685 --> 00:08:07,255
I can't even start till that
damn bird brings my laptop back.
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00:08:07,327 --> 00:08:09,696
I wonder what
he even uses it for.
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♪ ♪
188
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Wow! Is that
a third lead guitar?
189
00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:19,857
Let me know
in the comments, guys.
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(sighs) Oh, who am I kidding?
You can't replace
191
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,838
working for the
United States Postal Service.
192
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I miss it already.
193
00:08:28,014 --> 00:08:29,816
Oh, I feel useless.
194
00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,988
Come on, Cleveland. You've been
moping around all week.
195
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:33,226
You know what?
Why don't you swing by
196
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:34,997
the brewery tomorrow?
I'll buy you lunch.
197
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:37,736
Did you say an insensitive joke
and now need to prove
198
00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:39,909
to everyone that you have
a Black friend?
199
00:08:40,046 --> 00:08:41,815
See you there, buddy.
200
00:08:50,473 --> 00:08:53,342
Thanks for letting me tag along
at the brewery, Peter.
201
00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,649
Feels good to have
some routine again.
202
00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:57,489
Ah, crap, look at the line.
203
00:08:57,558 --> 00:08:59,961
Gonna take me forever
to get to the microwave.
204
00:09:00,032 --> 00:09:01,867
Peter, you have a salad.
205
00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:03,805
Yeah, now I'm gonna
have to eat it cold.
206
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:05,309
How am I supposed
to work all day
207
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,680
without a belly full
of hot salad?
208
00:09:07,751 --> 00:09:09,153
Griffin.
209
00:09:09,221 --> 00:09:10,823
What the hell is going on?
210
00:09:10,893 --> 00:09:12,161
We've got a dozen
delivery trucks
211
00:09:12,263 --> 00:09:13,898
that are days behind schedule.
212
00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:16,036
I've got distributors
lighting up my phone
213
00:09:16,106 --> 00:09:17,474
like a Christmas phone.
214
00:09:17,509 --> 00:09:19,611
I have a twinkly phone
for the holidays.
215
00:09:19,682 --> 00:09:20,917
It's incredibly festive.
216
00:09:20,985 --> 00:09:22,854
You know, I used
to deliver the mail,
217
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:25,793
so I know a thing or two
about getting around town.
218
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,534
Mind if this goose
takes a gander?
219
00:09:28,605 --> 00:09:30,273
Hmm, well, for starters,
220
00:09:30,343 --> 00:09:31,978
you've got your
downtown deliveries
221
00:09:32,048 --> 00:09:34,283
scheduled for
Wednesday morning, but...
222
00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:36,155
that's when the
street sweepers come around
223
00:09:36,191 --> 00:09:37,359
and hog the right lane.
224
00:09:37,428 --> 00:09:40,731
You switch to the afternoon,
you'll be done in half the time.
225
00:09:40,804 --> 00:09:43,140
The street sweepers, of course.
226
00:09:43,243 --> 00:09:44,544
What about the other deliveries?
227
00:09:44,614 --> 00:09:46,783
Well, no wonder your
eastbound trucks are late.
228
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,922
That stretch of highway's been
under construction for weeks.
229
00:09:49,994 --> 00:09:51,796
That's why all
the mail trucks use...
230
00:09:51,899 --> 00:09:54,101
♪ ♪
231
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,549
What a beautiful mind.
232
00:09:59,619 --> 00:10:01,221
Oh, I didn't see that movie.
233
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,225
I only go to Spider-Mans.
234
00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:05,330
♪ ♪
235
00:10:05,401 --> 00:10:07,203
...last stop
right across the river.
236
00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:09,074
You got the toll bridge
in the way, but,
237
00:10:09,177 --> 00:10:12,013
nine times out of ten, the
bridge guy's watching TikToks.
238
00:10:12,084 --> 00:10:13,953
You just drive around,
he don't know.
239
00:10:14,022 --> 00:10:17,459
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
What's your name?
240
00:10:17,532 --> 00:10:19,067
Cleveland Brown, sir.
241
00:10:19,136 --> 00:10:21,072
Mr. Brown, this operation
242
00:10:21,141 --> 00:10:23,777
could certainly use a man
with your expertise.
243
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:26,551
How would you like a job here
at the Pawtucket Brewery?
244
00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:28,291
Really? All right!
245
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,529
Excellent. You start tomorrow.
246
00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:33,235
- Hey, way to go, Cleveland.
- Thanks, Peter.
247
00:10:33,306 --> 00:10:36,009
Tonight, me and Donna
are gonna celebrate,
248
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,615
romantically.
249
00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:39,920
And which Teddy Pendergrass
song was playing?
250
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,792
"Turn Out the Lights."
251
00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:43,797
Sir, ma'am,
252
00:10:43,867 --> 00:10:47,037
you're both lucky to be alive.
253
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,687
All right, working
with my best friend.
254
00:10:52,756 --> 00:10:54,024
This is gonna be sweet.
255
00:10:54,126 --> 00:10:56,395
Just a heads up,
I chew ice all day long,
256
00:10:56,466 --> 00:10:59,002
and my computer goes "bonk"
every three seconds.
257
00:10:59,073 --> 00:11:00,908
I hope that doesn't bother you.
258
00:11:00,978 --> 00:11:02,713
(munching)
259
00:11:02,782 --> 00:11:04,918
-(computer makes error sound)
- That's the bonk.
260
00:11:05,022 --> 00:11:07,291
Yeah, uh,
you, you think you could
261
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:08,963
keep the noise down, Peter?
262
00:11:09,032 --> 00:11:10,967
It is my first day, after all,
263
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,006
and I want to get
some work done.
264
00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:14,711
Tell you what, you can do
all the work you want
265
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:19,084
right after we take turns
telling scary work stories.
266
00:11:20,829 --> 00:11:22,698
It was a night just like this.
267
00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:25,904
And when the moon is full,
if you close your eyes,
268
00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,045
you can still hear her voice.
269
00:11:28,182 --> 00:11:30,551
(whispers):
"Will you sponsor me
270
00:11:30,622 --> 00:11:32,424
for my 5K?"
271
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:35,463
Dang it, Peter. This is work,
not a sleepover.
272
00:11:35,534 --> 00:11:37,336
Now would you please
get out of here?
273
00:11:37,372 --> 00:11:39,474
My 10:00 meeting
is about to start.
274
00:11:39,545 --> 00:11:42,247
Your meeting? But I thought
we were gonna work together.
275
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:45,989
Yeah, well, I thought
I'd tackle this one on my own.
276
00:11:46,095 --> 00:11:49,331
But maybe you can
get us some coffee?
277
00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:53,010
-(muffled chatter)
- CLEVELAND: ...touch base...
278
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,681
-(muffled chatter)
- ...circle back...
279
00:11:54,784 --> 00:11:56,519
-(muffled chatter)
- ...put a pin in it...
280
00:11:56,589 --> 00:11:58,891
-(muffled chatter)
- ...but that's Monday's problem.
281
00:11:58,962 --> 00:12:00,864
(laughter)
282
00:12:04,275 --> 00:12:06,678
-(truck beeping)
- Wait a minute,
283
00:12:06,782 --> 00:12:09,685
these shipments should have
gone out already. Hey, Peter.
284
00:12:09,790 --> 00:12:12,659
All these trucks were supposed
to be on the road hours ago.
285
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,866
Did you make any changes
to my schedule?
286
00:12:14,969 --> 00:12:16,338
No. Oh, you know what?
287
00:12:16,407 --> 00:12:18,142
Yeah, I added
a new rule for safety.
288
00:12:18,245 --> 00:12:20,348
The guys were slapping the back
of the truck two times
289
00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:21,251
when it was all loaded up,
290
00:12:21,319 --> 00:12:23,154
but then Smitty got
his foot run over,
291
00:12:23,258 --> 00:12:26,462
so now I told 'em to do
200 slaps, just to be safe.
292
00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:38,726
- How many was that?
- DRIVER: Uh, 35? 40?
293
00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:41,467
I can't tell, we got, like,
six other slappers going.
294
00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:45,847
Griffin, what's going on?
295
00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:48,620
All of our weekly shipments
are late, again.
296
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:51,326
Mr. Lloyd, I think
we can get back on track
297
00:12:51,431 --> 00:12:53,199
if we just optimize
our load outs.
298
00:12:53,302 --> 00:12:55,304
See, back in my mailman days,
299
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,944
we would pre-sort our deliveries
by destination.
300
00:12:58,082 --> 00:13:00,084
If we bundle the inventory
by invoice
301
00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:01,455
rather than by product type,
302
00:13:01,524 --> 00:13:03,726
it'll expedite the delivery
out on the road.
303
00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:06,966
My goodness, why haven't we
been doing that all along?
304
00:13:07,038 --> 00:13:08,973
Cleveland,
you've proven yourself
305
00:13:09,077 --> 00:13:10,912
invaluable to this organization.
306
00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:13,985
I'm hereby promoting you to
Vice Executive Managing Director
307
00:13:14,057 --> 00:13:15,825
in Charge of Lengthy Titles.
308
00:13:15,894 --> 00:13:17,629
Wow, thank you, sir.
309
00:13:17,699 --> 00:13:19,367
Hey, good for you, Cleveland.
310
00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:21,873
Good for all of us.
Good for this department.
311
00:13:21,977 --> 00:13:23,044
And as for you, Griffin,
312
00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:26,383
I need you to clear your things
out of your office.
313
00:13:26,455 --> 00:13:28,357
Cleveland is going
to need more room
314
00:13:28,426 --> 00:13:30,362
to perform
his managerial duties.
315
00:13:30,432 --> 00:13:31,433
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute,
316
00:13:31,535 --> 00:13:33,904
you're kicking me out
of my own office? (chuckles)
317
00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:36,844
You're not, uh, you're not
replacing me, are you?
318
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,851
Oh, no, we're just doing
319
00:13:38,954 --> 00:13:40,789
a little... restructuring.
320
00:13:40,926 --> 00:13:43,929
Besides, you won't need an
office for your new assignment.
321
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,436
I'm putting you in charge
of kitchen banter.
322
00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:49,210
What you got there?
Little jet fuel?
323
00:13:49,315 --> 00:13:51,417
Little java?
Little jitter juice?
324
00:13:51,486 --> 00:13:53,088
I'll take a top-off,
if you don't mind.
325
00:13:53,158 --> 00:13:55,894
Yeah, don't talk to me
till I've had my coffee, right?
326
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,834
(long sip)
327
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:01,275
Hey, how come you were
only pregnant for four months?
328
00:14:01,346 --> 00:14:03,014
- PRESTON: Griffin.
- Sorry, it's my first day.
329
00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:12,001
Look, I know this is awkward,
celebrating Cleveland
330
00:14:12,073 --> 00:14:13,475
getting promoted over you,
331
00:14:13,544 --> 00:14:15,612
so we don't have to stay long
if you don't want.
332
00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,652
Eh, it's one night,
I'll be fine.
333
00:14:17,721 --> 00:14:20,224
Wait, Peter, where's the bottle
of wine I told you to bring?
334
00:14:20,328 --> 00:14:22,463
Cleveland makes more money
than me now, Lois.
335
00:14:22,534 --> 00:14:24,903
That means we're sneaking
groceries out of this party,
336
00:14:24,974 --> 00:14:26,042
not bringing 'em in.
337
00:14:26,109 --> 00:14:28,011
Can you fit ketchup
in that purse? We're all out.
338
00:14:28,082 --> 00:14:29,984
Damn it. We can't show up
to a dinner party
339
00:14:30,054 --> 00:14:33,724
without a $14 empty gesture.
It's improper.
340
00:14:33,797 --> 00:14:35,665
We need to give them something.
341
00:14:35,768 --> 00:14:38,204
Fine. Here.
342
00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:41,111
-(doorbell rings)
- We brought these.
343
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,450
- Oh.
- What?
344
00:14:42,519 --> 00:14:45,022
It's... (sighs) It's nothing.
345
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:48,229
I guess I just miss being
the one handing out the mail.
346
00:14:48,301 --> 00:14:51,337
I'm sorry, they're lovely.
347
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:55,246
(sniffs) Mm. That Lands' End
lady-pants catalog
348
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,388
had quite a bloom this year.
349
00:14:57,457 --> 00:14:59,559
-♪ ♪
-(indistinct chatter)
350
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:02,833
Then I said, "Ain't that
the punch line to an anecdote."
351
00:15:02,905 --> 00:15:04,640
(laughter)
352
00:15:04,743 --> 00:15:06,278
So, what does
this promotion mean?
353
00:15:06,348 --> 00:15:07,516
Are you, like, Peter's boss now?
354
00:15:07,618 --> 00:15:09,453
We're all on the same team.
355
00:15:09,523 --> 00:15:10,958
Ah, that means yes.
356
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:14,063
Hey, Cleveland, how about
a quick speech for our guests?
357
00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:16,070
GUESTS:
Yeah, speech, speech!
358
00:15:16,106 --> 00:15:18,475
Or maybe just cover it
in a group text later.
359
00:15:18,546 --> 00:15:20,614
All right, all right,
settle down.
360
00:15:20,718 --> 00:15:22,786
I'd like to thank y'all
for coming tonight
361
00:15:22,857 --> 00:15:25,293
to celebrate my new job
at the brewery.
362
00:15:25,364 --> 00:15:27,366
It ain't as good
as delivering bills,
363
00:15:27,435 --> 00:15:29,738
but it sure does pay the bills.
364
00:15:29,808 --> 00:15:31,477
(laughter)
365
00:15:31,546 --> 00:15:34,116
- What a great speech.
- He's so important now.
366
00:15:34,186 --> 00:15:36,989
Do you think it's okay
I used the upstairs bathroom?
367
00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:41,903
It was bad enough
with Mr. Lloyd thinking
368
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:44,575
Cleveland's better than me.
Now it's all our friends, too.
369
00:15:44,681 --> 00:15:46,649
Oh, stop feeling sorry
for yourself.
370
00:15:46,719 --> 00:15:48,988
You think I'm thrilled
my husband got demoted?
371
00:15:49,059 --> 00:15:50,760
Bonnie's already rented
one of those cars
372
00:15:50,863 --> 00:15:52,231
with a loudspeaker on top.
373
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:53,702
She's telling everyone.
374
00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:55,338
BONNIE (over loudspeaker):
People of Spooner Street,
375
00:15:55,408 --> 00:15:57,377
Lois's husband got demoted.
376
00:15:57,447 --> 00:15:58,915
They're poorer now.
377
00:15:58,983 --> 00:16:02,487
Repeat, Lois's family
is now poorer.
378
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,395
Use this as motivation.
379
00:16:04,498 --> 00:16:05,899
Think of how good it'll feel
380
00:16:05,969 --> 00:16:08,271
to prove your friends
and Mr. Lloyd wrong.
381
00:16:08,341 --> 00:16:11,244
Now I'm gonna take
an incredibly quick lady dump.
382
00:16:11,349 --> 00:16:13,385
- Prove 'em wrong, huh?
- LOIS: Done.
383
00:16:13,522 --> 00:16:14,523
(toilet flushes)
384
00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:17,026
That's exactly what I'll do.
385
00:16:17,097 --> 00:16:19,266
I bet they won't think
Cleveland's so great
386
00:16:19,404 --> 00:16:20,438
when I get him fired.
387
00:16:20,507 --> 00:16:24,310
Hey, Dad, how's it going?
Have fun at the Browns'?
388
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,852
I couldn't steal the ketchup.
There were eyes on me all night.
389
00:16:26,923 --> 00:16:28,792
- Son of a bitch!
- There he is.
390
00:16:28,895 --> 00:16:31,864
- He didn't get the ketchup.
- Damn it!
391
00:16:31,969 --> 00:16:34,739
STEWIE:
Hey, these chicken nuggies are bone-dry.
392
00:16:34,811 --> 00:16:36,813
What did he say
about the ketchup?
393
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:47,306
What's going on?
Why'd everything stop?
394
00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:50,680
Hello, I'm Inspector Daniels
from the Health Department.
395
00:16:50,751 --> 00:16:53,821
That's a backstage pass
from a Muse concert.
396
00:16:53,893 --> 00:16:56,062
Huh, I guess it is, isn't it?
397
00:16:56,133 --> 00:16:58,201
I received an anonymous tip
that there's a rat
398
00:16:58,304 --> 00:17:00,807
nesting in the main beer tank.
I'm here to check it out.
399
00:17:00,878 --> 00:17:02,946
- What's this now?
- Well, I sure hope not.
400
00:17:03,017 --> 00:17:06,687
I'd lose my job if there was any
filth of that nature going on.
401
00:17:15,315 --> 00:17:18,151
Hmm, maybe I misheard
the tipster. (chuckles)
402
00:17:18,223 --> 00:17:21,026
Yeah, ears haven't really been
the same since I saw Muse
403
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,232
from basically as close
as you're allowed to get.
404
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:24,404
I'll try him back.
405
00:17:24,472 --> 00:17:25,907
(phone rings)
406
00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:28,178
Rat-a-tat-tat,
you've reached Peter the rat.
407
00:17:28,249 --> 00:17:29,083
-(gasps)
-(phone beeps)
408
00:17:29,184 --> 00:17:31,920
Well, I'm sorry
someone wasted your time,
409
00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:35,128
but as you can see,
everything here is up to code.
410
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,401
Have a good day.
411
00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:40,007
I found your rat in the tank
during my rounds this morning.
412
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,783
- Why'd you do it, Peter?
-(sighs) I'm sorry.
413
00:17:43,823 --> 00:17:45,892
It's just, with you doing
so well at the brewery,
414
00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:47,763
I felt like a joke.
415
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,835
I knew I was never
gonna be a big shot here,
416
00:17:49,905 --> 00:17:53,208
but I liked playing my small
part to help make this beer.
417
00:17:53,314 --> 00:17:56,050
Before you started, that
small part felt like enough.
418
00:17:56,121 --> 00:17:59,658
Griffin, I was just informed
that you tried to sabotage
419
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:02,300
this operation by putting vermin
in the beer tank.
420
00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,673
This is the last straw, Griffin.
421
00:18:04,777 --> 00:18:06,345
You are fired.
422
00:18:06,415 --> 00:18:10,352
Fine. I'm not good enough
for this place anyway.
423
00:18:14,268 --> 00:18:15,002
Wait.
424
00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:17,238
You can't fire Peter, sir.
425
00:18:17,309 --> 00:18:20,112
- And why's that?
- Because you need him.
426
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,987
Sure, companies need some people
to work hard
427
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:25,460
and go the extra mile,
but more than that,
428
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:26,965
they need guys like Peter,
429
00:18:27,068 --> 00:18:29,804
regular guys who are happy
to do a thankless job
430
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,945
for a mediocre salary,
day in and day out,
431
00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:35,486
so long as that day ends
with a cold beer
432
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:37,692
and a best friend
to share it with.
433
00:18:37,763 --> 00:18:39,564
If you fire Peter Griffin,
434
00:18:39,601 --> 00:18:41,703
sir, you fire your customer,
435
00:18:41,773 --> 00:18:43,308
the beer-loving everyman
436
00:18:43,377 --> 00:18:46,747
that makes up the hunched
backbone of this country.
437
00:18:46,819 --> 00:18:49,622
Cleveland, you're right.
438
00:18:49,694 --> 00:18:51,929
Griffin here
is perfectly mediocre,
439
00:18:51,999 --> 00:18:54,802
and America runs on mediocre.
440
00:18:54,907 --> 00:18:56,775
You know,
that's the kind of insight
441
00:18:56,878 --> 00:18:58,780
I need coming from up top.
442
00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:01,453
How'd you like to join me
on the executive floor?
443
00:19:01,524 --> 00:19:05,161
I appreciate the offer, sir,
but I can't accept.
444
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:08,470
In fact, I'm officially
"terndering" my resignation,
445
00:19:08,576 --> 00:19:11,579
and recommending Peter Griffin
as my replacement.
446
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,953
There's only one job
I was born to do,
447
00:19:14,056 --> 00:19:15,924
- and I'm gonna go get it ba...
-(bird squawking)
448
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:18,431
There's the bird with my laptop!
449
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,541
POSTMASTER:
Just come in.
450
00:19:34,609 --> 00:19:36,211
Thank you for seeing me, sir.
451
00:19:36,314 --> 00:19:39,984
I'm gonna get right to it and
say being a postman is who I am,
452
00:19:40,057 --> 00:19:41,726
and I'm here to get my job back.
453
00:19:41,795 --> 00:19:44,765
- Well, that's great, but...
- Please, sir, let me finish.
454
00:19:44,837 --> 00:19:48,340
With this rubber band, I will
cinch the offending testicle
455
00:19:48,412 --> 00:19:52,116
so that it can never dangle nor
sway where it does not belong.
456
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:55,158
(deep breath)
Here I go.
457
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:58,502
-(grunting)
-(rubber band snaps)
458
00:19:58,606 --> 00:19:59,974
It's done.
459
00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:03,513
Cleveland, we sent your
reinstatement forms a week ago.
460
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,154
I never check my own mail.
461
00:20:05,256 --> 00:20:07,992
You know how Pablo Escobar
never did cocaine?
462
00:20:08,063 --> 00:20:10,266
- He did a lot of cocaine.
- Oh.
463
00:20:10,302 --> 00:20:12,771
Then I fear I've made
a terrible mistake.
464
00:20:12,909 --> 00:20:14,177
Turns out, we couldn't fire you
465
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:16,714
without running it
by the union head.
466
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:19,789
Welcome back, Cleveland.
(laughs heartily)
467
00:20:19,893 --> 00:20:22,296
Thank you, sir.
It's good to be back.
468
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,635
-(rubber band snaps)
-(bouncing)
469
00:20:26,846 --> 00:20:29,281
And there goes my ball.
470
00:20:29,352 --> 00:20:32,121
- Here's your rubber band back.
- You-you can keep it.
471
00:20:37,673 --> 00:20:40,409
So, Cleveland, you happy
to be delivering mail again?
472
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,414
Oh, yeah.
473
00:20:41,517 --> 00:20:44,219
Yep, sure is nice
to have things back to normal.
474
00:20:44,323 --> 00:20:46,792
Say, Cleveland, how about
you and me get a quick selfie
475
00:20:46,898 --> 00:20:48,366
to remember this crazy week?
476
00:20:48,401 --> 00:20:50,937
Peter, did you make
another insensitive joke
477
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,110
and need to prove you have
a Black friend again?
478
00:20:53,181 --> 00:20:54,348
I'm not gonna say it was bad,
479
00:20:54,450 --> 00:20:56,920
but I have to make you
my profile picture.
480
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,425
It's my only shot.
Oh, hang on,
481
00:20:58,494 --> 00:21:00,896
there's my Jewish friend
Mort Goldman.
482
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,304
Hey, Mort, what's up, pal?
Quick selfie?
483
00:21:04,354 --> 00:21:08,904
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